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Monday, February 28, 2011

Confidence

For the first time in a long while I need every shred of confidence I can get. Why? Because today my dad comes home from his 6 monh long trip to the Philippines. Actually, we're on our way to the airport as I type. I should be happy right? I suppose anyone else would be, be, but there's something going on that I can't talk about and its killing me. People ask me if everything is okay and I have to say "Yes. Everything is just fine." So I'm almost dreading seeing him. I don't want to. Everything is peaceful when he's gone and now my mom and I are going to have to keep that facade up around him.
So what am I doing to create this confidence? To fake it well enough that I fool everyone around me and myself? I'm listening to my favorite songs. I brought my favorite comic book. I'm wearing the boots that make me feel like I can kick anyone's ass. What's helping me the most though? My locket which I bought at the Emilie Autumn show on friday. Hand made by Veronica Varlow who is one of the most confident women I know.

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